Oooh, girl! Welcome to the Drag Race RuCap! Needless to say, spoilers lie within this fuzzy pink box. Reading is fundamental – enter with caution. Haven’t seen the episode yet? Head to LOGO TV to watch it, free!
This week’s guest judges are Bob Mackie, the world-renowned costume and fashion designer, and Khole Kardashian, a Kardashain.
MINI CHALLENGE – TALK TO DA HAND (PUPPET)
The queens must dragify a puppet that looks like the other queens and put on a show. This is a LITERAL Reading Rainbow.
In short: Everyone kills except for Courtney Can’t-Act-Her-Way-Out-From-Behind-A-Brick-Wall. Bendela is HANDED this win for her spot on interpretation of Bianca Del Rio (“I LIVE IN NEW YORK! YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES! BOLGONA!”), and she is given the glorious task of assigning the queens a jewel tone for the mainstage challenge.
MAIN COURSE – DIAMONDS ARE A QUEEN’S BEST FRIEND
The queens must show Ru and the judges three unique looks that speak to their assigned jewel tones : Rose Quartz (Bendela), Sapphire (Bianca), Diamond (Adore), Topaz (Darienne) and Ruby (Courtney).
Categories are as follows:
Banjee Girl Dream
Platinum Card Executive Realness
Dripping Jewels Eleganza
Looks like another sewing show/ho-down. YEE-HAW!!! Of course, this challenge wouldn’t be complete without some major Adore bitching.
Bendela was kind enough to assign Diamond to Adore, as it was clearly the easiest gem to style and Adore has zero sewing skills. And since we are talking about Adore, let’s not forget that the girl cried in her one-on-one with RuPaul.
“I just get really discouraged and frustrated. I feel like I am so talented in other things, that I don’t know why my brain won’t allow me to do other things.” – Adore
After the tears have been shed, Adore has a breakthrough and turns her negativity into positive vibes – whistle while you twerk, GURLL!
RUPRISE! The girls must add another piece to their main stage challenge – they must lip sync a gem-spired song before the runway walk, and Bendela is assigned as the choreographer for the five.
In true Drag Race fashion, no one quite knows what they are doing in their rehearsal, and Adore has the grand idea for each of them to “do their own thing.” Thankfully, no one listens and they make it through the rehearsal without killing each other (which I don’t think we have ever seen on any season of Drag Race).
SISSY DAT WALK…
One by one come our Gem Morrisons. Bianca, as always, has a consistent look, Courtney is giving bad ruby red body, and Adore kills her character walks, making her the winner of this challenge.
Now onto the not-so-standouts of the night: Bendela and Darienne.
Ben carries herself well but her looks did not quite hit the mark. Her Rose Quartz executive look was by far the weakest, with Michelle calling it “a cocktail dress at best” (which is crazy because I’m pretty sure this would be the exact outfit that Visage would wear in any business transaction).
Darienne’s looks crashed and burned across the board. Her banjee look was out of a scene from Xanadu (sans roller skates), her executive look was something out of a JC Penny’s catalogue circa 2003 and her evening gown look channeled slave Princess Leia. She tried.
Before sending the queens to the
Untucked Interior Illusions FormDecor Silver Lounge, Ru pulled a true stunt queen move by asking the ladies which queen should be sent home. The answers were pretty cut and dry:
Well, that settles it.
The final lip sync came down to Darienne and Bendela. Déjà vu anyone? Each queen werked ‘Stronger’ by Kelly Clarkson, giving great face and showcasing their lip sync abilities, since neither of them are dancers.
Sadly, Ru Sent home Bendela. Why? I’ll never know. Darienne’s bad attitude and hideously similar runway looks made this queen a poor contender from the beginning, and raised a host of other questions:
Should Adore have won a sewing challenge? No.
Should Bendela go home before Miss Priss Darienne? No.
Should anyone be competing anymore because we all know Bianca is going to win?! No.
Best quotes of the night:
Darienne as Courtney Puppet – “I’m the oldest living twink in history”
Adore as Bendela Puppet – “What do you use to cover your eyebrows… oatmeal?”
RuPaul: “Rose Quartz? I think I went to Hebrew school with her!”
“What, what!” – Santino Rice
Final Four, Bitches.