Oooh, girl! Welcome to the Drag Race RuCap! Needless to say, spoilers lie within this fuzzy pink box. Reading is fundamental – enter with caution. Haven’t seen the episode yet? Head to LOGO TV to watch itfree!

It’s the final four! The last dance! The Third Act!!! –– You get the idea.

This week the pressure is ON! The queens are to star in RuPaul’s newest music video Sissy That Walk, act and improvising alongside RuPaul in two scenes, and they will go to lunch with Ru herself. If that WEREN’T enough… one of these Queens is going HOME!!!

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MUSIC VIDEO

Although a fun challenge at its core, this is always my least favorite. I am a HUGE fan of Ru’s music, and Drag Queens will never be as good those Peanut Butter Boys. Who wants to see Queens when you can see D instead!?

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This is one of the first challenges this year that focuses on dancing… contemporary dancing at that. Adore and Courtney have little issue with learning the moves, but Bianca and Darienne are not as polished as the other two. While watching this I started shifting in my seat thinking, “Is Bianca going to go home?!” She was beginning to joke and goof around not because she was confident but because she was nervous. SETTLE! SETTLE!

While shooting the video the girls are asked to walk on a treadmill in front a green screen. In their heel. In front of a fan. While lip syncing. Again, I was at the edge of my seat as Bianca was not performing as well as the others. Darienne clearly took inspiration from Adore’s performance and stole a dance move where she licks her finger and touches her Sphynx kitten. What Adore doesn’t know if that I have been doing that move at ‘da club’ (aka ‘da bed’) for over 10 years now. Watch it gurl.

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LUNCH TIME

Chicken or FISH? The queens sit with Dr. Ru for lunch (no food is actually eaten), and chat about their time on Drag Race.  Ru tells Courtney that she needs to show more humanity, talks about family with Darienne and Adore, and she jokes with Bianca.

The only thing I learned from this is I want to hire RuPaul as my therapist. No matter what the situation Ru ALWAYS has the right answer. She’s seen it all, she’s been there before, and she’ll help any and everyone along the way. MARRY ME, RU!

ACTING CHALLENGE

For the first challenge, each queen must play a young ingénue being photographed by an eye-patched RuPaul. He begins to bark commands at them for poses… literally. “Bark like a dog, now you’re a Snoop Dog, now you’re a corn dog, now a hot dog, now a horn dog.” It is clear that we are in the final stages of the competition as each and every girl delivers.

In the second acting challenge the girls must play alongside a Lionel Richie lookalike version of Ru named Charles.

RuPaul

Courtney enters the scene with too many props and Darienne’s scene falls flat… until she keeps acting after the scene making Ru so inspired that he comes back to the set to act with her.

I am unsure if this challenge will have much weight in Ru’s final decision (as I’m sure her mind has already been decided), but this does show that no matter who is selected for the top 3 each girl can hold their own and really represent as a final contestant.

SISSY DAT WALK + LIP SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE!

Looks below  – everyone KILLED IT!

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Each queen did a fantastic job representing their personal style and no one queen looked better than the other. If 300 years from now an alien race were to come to the remains of planet earth and find video footage of THIS runway, I think humanity would be represented perfectly. Style, grace, drag queens.

Now onto the good stuff – each of the Queens must tell the world why they should be the next drag superstar.

Adore – “I’m young and relatable!”
Bianca – “I am now vulnerable”
Courtney – “I was famous in Australia, and I want to be famous here!”
Darienne – “I am more queen per pound”

All four ladies embody different parts of the show’s motto:

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After these heartwarming speeches, each queen must lip sync for their life to Ru’s newest single Sissy That Walk (available on iTunes). There is no way to judge who will be going home in this final challenge as each queen has already proven herself to be the best. I did find myself tearing up a bit during this performance. Call me sentimental, but I hate to know that someone’s dreams are about to go down the drain.  This competition has been close from the get-go, and when it gets to be this late in the game I have a special place in my heart for everyone.

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Except Darienne. And that bitch is GOING HOME! PACK UP THOSE COWL NECKS AND HIT THE ROAD, JOAN!

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Who do YOU want to win? Bianca, Courtney or Adore?! Comment below. If you say Courtney Act I’ll have you deported.

BONUS:

“I have big hair, I look like a glittery ass mermaid.” – Adore
“This is the American Dream!” – Courtney Act
“Party” – Adore

  • deandreupshaw

    Bianca!

  • Zach Krohn

    It HAS to be Bianca. There is no other possible outcome.

    (And all God’s people said “Amen”)

    • Christina

      AMEN!