If the image above from Vanity Fair’s 2010 spread doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what will.

I love soccer.  It also helps when there are hot guys involved.  I didn’t have many allegiances as far as teams go in 2010, so me and a friend of mine came up with an equation that decided which soccer teams we would go for in the World Cup.  It usually went something like this:

Cuteness of Coach + Hotness of Players + Ability to Pronounce Player Names = Likelihood That We Root For You

I’ve never been good at math, but that was a math lesson I could get behind.  Please note that actual ability to PLAY soccer was not a part of the calculation.  This year, I didn’t want to deal with arithmetic.  So I made a hot guy cheat sheet.  I did all the the leg work for you, so you know which teams are worth watching based on cuteness.  Because we all know it’s not the way you play the game, it’s how you LOOK while playing the game.  Everyone is thinking it, I’m just brave enough to say it.

2014 FIFA World Cup Training Camp - Day 4

Dante – Brazil


Gerard Pique – Spain


DeAndre Yedlin – USA


Giannis Fetfatzidis – Greece


Atsuto Uchida – Japan


Sergio Ramos – Spain


Henri Bedimo – France


Alireza Jahanbakhsh – Iran

Fabian Johnson

Fabian Johnson – USA

Givanildo Vieira de Souza Brazil

Givanildo Vieira de Souza – Brazil

Jack Wilshere

Jack Whilsere – England

Georgios TzavellasGreece

Georgios Tzavellas – Greece

James TroisiAustralia

James Troisi – Australia

CristianoRonaldo Portugal

Cristiano Ronaldo – Portugal


Wesley Sneijder – The Netherlands


Olivier Giroud – France

Gabriel Achilier - Ecuador

Gabriel Achilier – Ecuador

Partido amistoso Chile vs Costa Rica.

Miiko Albornoz – Chile

Sofiane Feghouli

Sofiane Feghouli – Algeria

Asamoah Gyan - Ghana

Asamoah Gyan – Ghana

Now go forth into the world with your new found information of hot guys. Head to theFIFA website to check out the schedules for these boys you are now obsessed with!  You’re welcome.