1. No, but for real, when did the liars all join the school choir?

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I thought there might be some live music in the episode, but was sure it would somehow reference Lucy Hale’s new video that premiered today and not the birth of Christ. Let’s be honest, the whole purpose of this singing “class” was to set the stage for Hanna’s new “omg I am so completely over this” attitude. Honestly though, is this attitude that new?

Can’t you just hear that exasperated sigh through your computer screen?

2. Oh look, another police questioning that would never hold up in court.

Ok, I know no matter how many Law & Order marathons I watch I’ll still never *technically* be considered a lawyer, but Lieutenant Linda Tanner decides to question a teenager – without parents or legal counsel present…at school… in a completely open area – where a dozen other students are clearly watching them. A+ detectiving there, ma’am.

3. “Don’t. I already have one friend throwing me shade.” – Hanna Marin

Oh PLL writers. You middle-aged, white, upper class, Hollywood citizens, you. You are so hip with the kids.

4. Since when can high school students become assistant coaches for other high school students?

Last time I checked, you had to go to college for that , but no worries it’s totally legit guys, the team voted and everything. She even gets her own jacket, because as we all know, any garment with your name embroidered on it = competence. Rah rah, Assistant Coach Fields!

5. How incredibly stupid do you have to be to hit on your fiance’s daughter’s best friend?

Really, Zach. Really? Wow ok, really. Despite a house break-in and potential death-by-horse scene, this may have been the creepiest moment of the entire episode.

creepy zach

And then you just uninvitedly get in a teenage girl’s car at night??

Hanna (along with every-freaking-one else in Rosewood) does need to learn to LOCK HER DOORS. Just someone – anyone – lock a door. Any door. Please.

6. Oh wait, I forgot. “A” totally locked a stable door tonight.

Does A have power over animals now? Like she or he knew that the horse would break through the adjoining stall and roundhouse horse-kick Emily and Spencer unconscious? Impressive.

In Summation

Rosewood Crazy Scale: 6/10
Definitely amped up from last week.

Best line: Spencer to Toby
“If you becoming a cop is going to put an end to this, then I say go. Study hard. Graduate early.”

Mystery of the Week: Alison’s break in story
Did Alison really ask Noel to break in to Hanna’s house? While Ali lying is no shocker, what’s her reasoning this time? Actually, what is her reasoning any of the time, amirite?

Until next week, liars.