Hey you! YEAH, YOU! The one in bed with your laptop — get UP and GET OUT! NOT YET! READ THIS FIRST PLEASE!!
It’s summertime, and Rat City is here to tell you about the hot spots YOU should be hitting up before Labor Day. Here’s our list of some of the most unique and (dare we say) interesting festivals and events in the US:
Please keep your hands and legs inside at all times….
NEW YORK CITY – PRIDE WEEKEND
JUNE 27 – JUNE 29
You can’t spell NYC without GAY… wait.
Pride weekend holds a special place in the hearts of New Yorkers – the city comes alive with events and parades and more tanning oil than all the towels at Daytona Beach. The weekend begins with the Pride Kickoff Party on Friday (6/27) afternoon on Pier 26 in Tribeca. Michelle Visage and Sharon Needles will be hosting and performing in the opening ceremony, which will act not only as a party starter, but as a remembrance ceremony for the Stonewall riots in 1969.
Wake up at dawn on Saturday (6/28) to enjoy the sun rise and squeeze yourself into your finest rainbow beads and chaps. Have a big breakfast at Tiffany’s, and walk yourself over to the Gay Pride Parade! The parade sissies dat walk down 5th avenue with over 50 floats and THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of spectators. Be sure to get there extra early as you don’t want to miss out on the spectacle. Head to the West Village, at the parade’s end, for a night of partying and pleasure (FOR ALL)!
MIAMI – THE RARE FRUIT CONVENTION
JULY 09 – JULY 13
Apples and oranges just not cutting it for ya?
Then come on down (WAY DOWN) to Miami, Florida for the Rare Fruit Convention! This 5 day festival has been held at the Fruit and Spice Park since it was founded in 1984. The park itself “grows more than 500 varieties of sub-tropical fruits, herbs, spices, vegetables and nuts from around the world on 39 lush acres in the agricultural Redland.” The conference will hold tastings and lectures that include “Mango Tasting” and “Myrciaria/Plinia Species.”
We assume Pitbull himself waters at the mouth at the thought of all these rare global fruits… he’s not called Mr. Worldwide for nothing.
Ready for a calm, cool, indie-folk inspired prep-tastic weekend? Well have we got the destination for you! Drive on up to the first annual Martha’s Vineyard Sound International Indie Music Festival.
Martha’s vineyard is the 58th largest island in the United States, so your trip here means one less island to check off your “TO TRAVEL TO EVERY US ISLAND” List. This festival’s lineup includes indie music, hip hop, reggae and jazz — so bring the whole family! Ben Taylor, Willie Mason and Lexie Roth will be included in the christening line-up, with more musicians to be announced soon! Local food vendors and artists will be at the festival as well, serving up Martha’s Vineyard realness.
STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!
Well, Miss Priss, this year’s festival will attempt to make a this a zero waste event… and for anyone who has ever been to a music festival knows that there is A LOT of waste. A lot. (We don’t know how this works exactly but we assume there is a goat pen out back where all the garbage goes)
NEW ORLEANS – BASTILLE DAY CELEBRATIONS
JULY 11 – JULY 13
Vive France … et New Orleans!
Take a trek down to Louisiana to celebrate Bastille Day with the Frenchiest Americans you’ll ever meet. Bastille day is France’s equivalent of the Fourth of July, so imagine every hot dog on a baguette. The celebrations last all weekend long ALL over the city, so your time spent there will be anything but le misérable. Take part in French dance lessons, dress your poodle up for the French Dog contest and the revel in all that is a crepe… my God IMAGINE the crepes!
Admission is free so don’t be laissez-faire – get your derriere up and GO!
DENVER – COLORADO RENAISSANCE FAIRE
JUNE 14 – AUGUST 2 (2 WEEKENDS)
Thou’st needest an adventure? Looketh no furtherest than Ye Olde Denver, Colorado for the Renaissance Faire! Take a walk down the dirt paths of a 16th Century kingdom, where jugglers, jousters and ancient artisans roam. Did we mention this place will be LOADED with turkey legs. That’s incentive enough! Even THE Kamikazze Fireflies from America’s Got Talent will be there. SAY WHAT?!
And, to really make the most of your time, join the photo competition and capture what YOU think embodies the Renaissance faire. Winner gets recognition for knowing how to manipulate light and color in a small box in medieval times — WITCH!!!
CHICAGO – AIR AND WATER SHOW
AUGUST 16 – AUGUST 17
What’s that in the sky? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a… oh, no, wait, that was a plane.
The Air and Water Show in Chicago is a showcase of fast planes, loud boats, and fancy tricks. Welcome to Effing America. This free show can be viewed along the lakefront from Fullerton to Oak Street. This year’s feats of air and space include U.S. Army Parachuters, U.S. Navy Leap Frogs, The Red Bull Helicopter, and of course no air show could be without The MOTHER FUCKING BLUE ANGELS!
AUSTIN TEXAS – BAT FESTIVAL
What’s keeping Austin weird these days? Could it be the indie music… the influx of vegan restaurants… NO! IT’S THE BATS YA DUMB DUMB! The world’s largest bat colony (75,000-1.5 Mill) of Mexican Free Tail Bats take a pit stop in Austin, Texas under the Ann Richard’s Congress Street Bridge. The festival includes 2 stages with 10 bands, and a fantastic food and a crafts fair. Did I fail to mention the BAT COSTUME CONTEST?! Winning that is gravestone header worthy.
Put on ya fangs and drive on down to Austin for a blood-sucking good time.
Where are you road tripping this summer? Tell us in the comments below!