Hey ladies and gents, can we talk about personal space for a sec?
Personal space is considered to be the distance between you and another person that is respectable and comfortable to both parties. It seems like an easy concept, but for whatever reason people fail to comply with these rules. The Bible of Common Sense lists the golden rule of personal space as THOU SHALL NOT TOUCH THOU WHO THOU DOETH NOT KNOWETH. Translation:
Imagine this: you have the day off and decide that you want to go check out a movie. You take a shower, jump in the car and make your way over to the theater. Once the ticket has been paid for and the popcorn bought you make your way into a completely empty theater. This a big deal! It hardly ever happens and it’s happening to you! Congratulations, because at this moment you have won life.
The lights start to dim and another person enters. BOOOOO!
You don’t get your very own personal screening anymore, but hey, they bought a ticket and there are tons of seats for them to choose and leave you alone.
But wait.. Hey what are they doing?! No,no,no,no….OUT OF ALL THE SEATS IN THE EMPTY THEATRE, THEY CHOOSE THE ONE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE THIS?!
Pure hell right?
How about this one: you and friends get all dolled up to go out for a fun night on the town. So, you put on the heels, lashes, and that super cute dress you got from forever 21 and head to the nearest juke joint to dance the night away.
It is ladies night and the feeling is right! You and your girls are dipping it low and picking it up slow when “that guy” shows up. You know the one. The douche of all douches.
This guy – if you can sincerely call him that – is still rocking Ed Hardy and something that sparkles. He clearly spends a lot of time in the gym working on his upper body–considering that it’s the only part of him that’s developed (at all) and smells like an entire bottle of knock-off designer cologne. Basically this:
You’re dancing with your girls when “The Situation” decides to come up behind you and dance his heart out. He’s grabbing you from every direction to make sure you continue to dance with him and all you can do is pray Superman shows up to save you. Girls, you know how annoyed you feel at that very moment? Well hold on to that feeling while I bring the guys in.
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright I say now fellas!!! Think about how you feel when the girl you’ve barely started dating decides to bring and leave her personal belongings at your place without asking. Got it?
Now let’s bring these two sentiments together for the REAL meat of this post: Ladies, you remember how you felt? Guys, you remember how you felt? That feeling of discomfort is exactly how ALL BLACK WOMEN feel when you decide to place your hands in our hair without permission. BOOM. MIC…DROPPED.
Sorry to take the long way around to explain this but I needed you to understand the struggle first. This is not a matter of weaves and fake hair but a matter of personal space. You wouldn’t appreciate a random person touching your boobs or sneezing into your personal bubble without covering their face would you? So why, oh why, do you think its okay to play with my hair without permission?
This is me and this is my hair. Sometimes it’s straight and sometimes its not. That’s what makes natural hair so freaking awesome. I decided to write this article because the amount of hands that randomly find their way into my head are astonishing.
I understand, “The unknown” is different and interesting and you just want to get to know it better, right? That’s fine! But did you ever consider just how uncomfortable your unauthorized touching makes me feel? But have you ever heard the expression, “Curiousity killed the cat”? Just like you, our hair grows from our bodies and therefore is apart of us. So next time you get the urge to cop a feel, just ask. Otherwise, I cannot promise your safety, nor can I predict your fate.
This has been a public service announcement.