Fads may have passed and technology has certainly leapt forward since the year 2000, but how many of the women that we idolized 14 years ago have still got it going on today? Inspired by the recent announcement of a reunion tour by boy band O-Town, let’s return to the scene of the crime with their debut single “Liquid Dreams”, released in December of 2000.
The song, whose premise is admittedly uncomfortable to explain to your parents (liquid dreams, ew), includes a laundry list of women who were the object of male fantasy around the dawn of the new millennium. Although some of their careers may be cooling off, we’re about to find out who is looking just as hot now as they were back in the day. I think you might be surprised just how many have stood the test of time.
In case you’ve forgotten:
Name: Destiny’s Child (Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams)
Attribute: Mix of all three members
What was going on then: The Writing on the Wall album released in 1999 (RIAA certified 8x platinum), Group line-up changed, “Independent Women Part I” released on Charlie’s Angels soundtrack in 2000
Where they are now:
- Group – Super Bowl reunion performance, video anthology, and compilation album all occurred in 2013
- Beyoncé – Alleged member of the Illuminati, secret self-titled album released in 2013 without promotion (RIAA certified platinum), Spokesperson for Pepsi, performed at President Obama’s Inauguration, married to Jay Z, pretty much runs the world.
- Kelly – Talk a Good Game album released in 2013 (not certified), Judge on final season of US The X Factor, Spokesperson for Caress body wash.
- Michelle – National tours of musicals Fela! in 2013, Jesus Christ Superstar in 2014, planned gospel album release in 2014, Spokesperson for Playtex Gentle Glide tampons, general irrelevancy.
Relevancy Meter: 8/10
Verdict: Beyoncé can only carry the group’s relevancy score so far, but if Destiny’s Child ever recorded another album, it would be a worldwide phenomenon. All three are still looking Bootylicious.
Attribute: Wild Style
What was going on then: “Beautiful Stranger” for the Austin Powers sequel soundtrack in 1999, Music album released in 2000 (RIAA certified 3x platinum), married to Guy Ritchie in 2000
Where is she now: MDMA album released in 2012 (RIAA certified gold), 2014 Grammy appearance with Macklemore, performed at the 2012 Super Bowl Halftime show, dating guys in their mid-twenties, receiving AARP benefits.
Relevancy Meter: 7/10
Verdict: Twenty-somethings are still giving up the goodies to her, so the Material Girl must be doing something right. Although it personally makes me uncomfortable when she starts thrusting during performances.
Name: Janet Jackson
What was going on then: The Velvet Rope album released in 1997 (RIAA certified 3x platinum), co-starred in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps in 2000, end of secret 8 year marriage.
Where is she now: Discipline album released in 2008 (not certified), appeared in For Colored Girls & Why Did I Get Married Too? in 2010, had an infamous “wardrobe malfunction” at the Superbowl, career hasn’t stabilized since. Married to billionaire from Qatar, lives overseas. Could purchase all of us if she felt like it.
Relevancy meter: 6/10
Verdict: Damita Jo seems to have matured past her sex kitten days, opting to be in the public eye because her philanthropic work for charities as opposed to wardrobe malfunctions. I can appreciate that, although TiVo stock could use a bump again. She still has a beautiful smile, though.
Name: Jennifer (Lopez)
What was going on then: Infamous Versace dress at the 2000 Grammys, On the 6 album released in 1999 (RIAA certified 3x platinum), starred in movie The Cell.
Owed her fame to Selena.
Where is she now: Judge on American Idol, LOVE? album released in 2011(not certified), starring in upcoming NBC drama as a police detective
Relevancy meter: 8/10
Verdict: That derriere isn’t quite the talk of the town like it used to be and she is transitioning from film to television roles. While I view her ongoing collaborations with Pitbull as music career suicide, J. Lo continues to look great week after week on Idol.
Name: Angelina Jolie
What was going on then: Best Supporting Actress Oscar in 2000 for Girl, Interrupted, subsequently kissed her brother on the lips after the ceremony, wore blood around her neck, co-starred in Gone in 60 Seconds in 2000, in general was very creepy.
Where is she now: Stars in 2014’s Maleficent, humanitarian/activist, directing WWII-era film Unbroken. With Brad Pitt after
allegedly being a low down home wrecker who destroyed his marriage with Jennifer Aniston. Much less creepy.
Relevancy meter: 9/10
Verdict: They have her looking like Batman in that Maleficent poster, but the former Lara Croft actress was the epitome of old Hollywood glamour during this past awards season. It has been a year of recovery for her and she is still stunningly beautiful. Plus, those tats have always done it for me.
Name: Cindy C(rawford)
Attribute: Beauty mark
What was going on then: World’s most famous supermodel, made beauty marks / moles sexy, Retired from full-time modeling career in 2000.
Where is she now: On 2013 TLC show finding out she is a direct descendant to Charlemagne, Namesake for furniture line & home goods products, developed and promotes skin care line. Continuing to be gorgeous.Somehow looks better than she did back then, if possible.
Relevancy meter: 6/10
Verdict: She’s still got it. Cindy never fails to look gorgeous in her limited appearances. The only reason I considered drinking Pepsi back in the day was because of a Cindy Crawford commercial.
Name: Tyra (Banks)
Attribute: Best at “the test” (note: What does that even mean)
What was going on then: Victoria’s Secret Angel, appeared in both Coyote Ugly and Disney Channel Original Movie Life-Size in 2000.
Where is she now: Shooting 21st cycle of America’s Next Top Model as creator, host, and head judge, had an extremely successful talk show, Life-Size sequel in the works, appeared in 2013 episode of Glee.
Relevancy meter: 7/10
Verdict: Ratings for Top Model have been dropping steadily, but Ms. Fierce can still rock a red carpet. I don’t know what “the test” is, but she passes it. Definitely don’t want to get on her bad side. I am rooting for you. We are all rooting for you.
Name: Salma Hayek
Attribute: “The rest”
What was going on then: co-starred in Wild Wild West and Dogma in 1999, spokesperson for Revlon cosmetics.
Where is she now: Appears as herself in 2014’s Muppets Most Wanted, reprised role for Grown Ups 2 in 2013, spokesperson for Avon cosmetics.
Relevancy meter: 7/10
Verdict: Salma looks almost exactly the same as she did 14 years ago. It’s probably no coincidence that “the rest” rhymes with another attribute that men admire and she possesses. Her choice in films has me worried. The Frida actress could use a comeback role.
Name: Halle B(erry)
Attribute: Sweetest personality
What was going on then: co-starred in 2000’s original X-Men, Revlon spokesperson, involved in 2000 hit & run traffic accident where she drove off.
Where is she now: Character rumored to be killed off early in 2014’s X-Men: Days of Future Past, appeared in Movie 43 and The Call in 2013, will star in 2014 CBS sci-fi drama Extant
Relevancy meter: 7/10
Verdict: Here is another woman that doesn’t appear to age. Her acting career, however, needs guidance. Agreeing to do Movie 43 has made everyone involved look bad and starring on CBS won’t likely keep her relevant to the younger demographics. Maybe she should star in another Flintstones movie.
There you have it! Nine beautiful women that guys, myself included, drooled over in the year 2000 and can still turn a head or fifty today. What is it about these women that has led them to sustain over the years? Is beauty eternal? Is it actually the money we find sexy? Did the song play a part? I can’t say for certain, but I am now starting to wonder if spending so much of my life attracted to women 20 years my senior is healthy.
Time to leave it be. Sweet dreams.